Well, my phone is always running out of battery
Your feet are always cold at night
Next door there's Dick and Vicki Slattery
And all they do is fuck and fight

They caught me stealing Camels at the Texaco
Now I shop at the A&P
Billy put a "k" in archipelago
So Vicki's daughter won the Spelling Bee

We got problems just like everybody else does
What you say about that, cuz
We got problems just like, just like every
Well, not EVERYBODY

Had to put new tires and wipers on the Chevrolet
Just one more bill to ease my mind
Stood in line an hour at the Chick Fil A
Just to have my Visa card declined

My kids just laugh when I attempt some discipline
My doctor says I can't have salt
And your husband's never, ever listening
At least that's what you said, I thought

We got problems just like anybody else would
What'd you think, that it was all good
We got problems just like, just like every
Well, not EVERYBODY

Yeah, my fridge is too damn full of fruits and vegetables
I'm still stuck with the iPhone eight
Sold my mint condition Trek collectibles
So we could ski for a week upstate

All these problems that some other folks would kill for
We could probably use a few more
We got problems just like, just like every
Well, not EVERYBODY